Follow Your Arrow
by goldenberryhudson
Summary: I want to be myself again, I really do. But it's hard fighting these demons.
1. Chapter 1

She stumbled to the bathroom door, pushing it as hard as she could to get out. She cursed her self when the amount of force caused her to fall, ankle caught in the door. "Shit!" she said, trying to stand up. From a distance, someone was calling her name. "Rachel! Rachel, RACHEL!" it was the voice of her friend Santana. Rachel regained her balance, shakily, and rammed into Santana. "There you are," she said, "we raided the liquor cabinet-can you say Grey Goose, baby?" She held a bottle of half-empty vodka her hand, smiling weakly. "Did you...d-d-did you drink half of it? Without me?" Rachel asked, taking the bottle and chugging the alcohol down. "The vodka waits for nobody," Santana said, trying and failing to take it back. "Rachel, stop. You're too drunk. I'm taking you home." Rachel protested. "But-b-but no. I wanna-I wanna stay." Santana grabbed the intoxicated girl's arm and dragged her outside. "We're leaving." Rachel was too drunk to detest any longer. She was promptly pushed into Santana's BMW.

"San, are you-are you sure you can d-drive?" she asked.

"Positive. It was only half the bottle that I drank, not the whole thing."

The engine revved, and they sped off. The speed made Rachel nauseous, but they soon made it to her house.

"Crap," Santana said, looking onto the Berry family's porch. "Whattt?" Rachel slurred, turning around. "Oh shit."

Hiram and Leroy stood solemnly, their faces evident with anger. Rachel pushed the car door open and practically fell out. She slowly but surely made it to the porch, where Leroy said, "Rachel Barbra Berry, get inside this _instant_!" She clutched her head and groaned. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

They both had those angry looks about them. Eyes squinted, eyebrows angled, arms crossed, and let's not forget the foot tapping. Hiram's steps seemed heavier and louder as he stepped up to Rachel.

"Rachel, don't say a word. Just listen. Your father and I are concerned about you. Ever since we moved here, you've strayed away from who you are. You're not a party girl, I just know it. That Santana girl, she got you into this. I knew there was something I didn't like about her. You have such a bright future, Rachel, and I don't want to see you not get it. You're so talented and beautiful, but these irrational acts need to stop. And you can't get out of this, you're going to be punished. There are consequences to every choice you make, Rach, what don't you understand? We love you, more than anything, but we can't have you acting this way. That's why...you're leaving New York."

"_What the hell?_ I'm not going anywhere and you can't make me."

"Oh but we can," Leroy chimed in, "and you're not going to use that language, young lady, especially not in front of your hosts in Lima."

"_Lima?_ What kind of place is called Lima?" Rachel retorted.

"Your father and I lived in Lima until you were born, it's a lovely town in Ohio. You'll be staying with the Hummels, our good friends." he said.

"Ohio? What the fuck are you trying to do to me?" she asked, angering further.

"You need to find yourself, Rachel. We just want what's best for you." Hiram said, trying to sound sympathetic.

"Find myself? I'm Rachel Berry, and I know who I am. But do you know what? I'll go to this hellhole of a town, Lima; anywhere but with you two. I can't believe you." she growled. Rachel trudged upstairs and began to pack her things. She was leaving tonight, screw taking a plane. Packing her things into her bag as fast as she could and scribbling a note to her dads, Rachel Berry climbed out of the second story window and called her best friend.

"Santana, I need a ride to the bus station."

"No, San, I don't care if you're drunk, I need to leave now."

"Okay, I'm waiting." She hung up the phone after their conversation.

That was the last night Rachel Berry spent in New York.

* * *

_Dads, _

_I'm done pretending. I'm not a little girl anymore, and I'm pretty damn capable of making my own choices. I just need to get out of your hair for awhile, be who I want to be. By the time you find this, I'll be en route to Lima. Please send the rest of my things that I couldn't pack to the Hummel residence, I'm sure I'll find it on my own. There can't be that many Hummels in such a small town, right? I love you both, I'm just frustrated. How many times will it take for me to get it right?_

_ Rachel_


	2. Chapter 2

**"Just follow your arrow wherever it points." **

**-Kacey Musgraves, "Follow Your Arrow"**

* * *

The bus got in about noon.

Rachel lugged her things off of the bus and went to the information desk.

"May I help you, miss?" The petite blonde asked in an overly friendly tone.

"Yes, um, I'm looking to contact someone with the last name Hummel?" Rachel replied, her head throbbing. It was a wonder that she still remembered the night, or that she was sober enough to write that note.

"Burt Hummel and his wife Carole, he owns the tire shop. This would be who you're lookin' for." she said, handing Rachel a card with a phone number on it. Rachel stepped outside and pulled out her phone, dialing the number. A woman picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Mrs. Hummel?"

"Yes, with whom am I speaking?"

"This is Rachel Berry...I'm Hiram and Leroy's daughter."

"Ah, yes! They said you were coming. Do you need a ride here? We can pick you up."

"That would be nice, I'm at the bus station."

"I'll send my son to come and get you. You'll know it's him."

* * *

She was sure it was him when he pulled up in that old clunker of a car. He flashed her a half-smile that she had to admit was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. She walked up to his car, the window rolling down.

"You must be the Hummel boy, I assume?" she asked, and he nodded.

"I'm Rachel Berry, and you?"

"Hudson, actually. Burt's my stepdad. I'm Finn, it's a real pleasure. So my mom said you were having some troubles, is that true?" he asked her.

Rachel go into the car and shrugged. "No, it's just me being myself. My fathers don't understand that I need to just follow my arrow, go where I wanna go, you know?"

"Yeah, actually, I do."

The rest of the car ride was fairly quiet, but she could feel him looking at her. Was he judging her? Or worse, _checking her out_? She broke the silence out of the uncomfortable feeling bursting in her stomach. Before she could, Finn started to speak.

"That's cute." he said, smiling at her.

"What is?"

"The way you bite your lips and twiddle your thumbs. I can tell that you're thinking pretty hard about something, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't adorable."

"You think I'm adorable?" Rachel looked at him. No boy had ever called her that before. No guy had even bothered to give her the time of day before.

"Um...well...yeah." Finn stumbled, that little half smile appearing on his face.

"Well, thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me."

"I've got a few guesses...look, here we are!" Finn pulled into the driveway.

Rachel could hear the second half of his sentence only because the first half was mumbled to himself.

It was a huge house, bigger than their apartment. It was a stereotypical-picket-fence-neighborhood kind of home, but that made it all the more welcoming.

She was going to enjoy her time here.

* * *

_Dear Dads,_

_ I am shocked to say that I've only been in Lima for 6 hours & I've already fallen in love with it. I'm sorry for how I acted, it was kind of stupid. I need to lay off the house music and booze scene for awhile. Burt, Carole, and their sons have been so welcoming to me. I really like Finn, and I hope I get to know him better. He's going to show me around town tomorrow. Kurt is like my long lost twin; all fashion, all the time. Their house is so spacious, but so full of love. I miss and love you, Dads. I hope to see you soon. Please also send the rest of my things...I'm low on everything!_

_ All my love, Rachel_

And send. Rachel sat on the bed in the guest room, closing her laptop and heading downstairs.

"Rachel, just in time for dinner!" Carole exclaimed, setting salad on the table next to the spaghetti.

"Your fathers said that you're a vegetarian, so I figured this would work!"

Rachel smiled at her. "It's great, Carole. Thank you so much."

Everyone came downstairs and sat at the table. Rachel sat next to Finn.

"So, Rach," he started, "how's Lima so far?"

Rachel picked up a piece of garlic bread, and answered, "Better than I expected. I'm so happy that my dads sent me to live here. It's a lovely place, filled with lovely people. I didn't expect my life to take a right turn so quickly, but I'm glad it led me here. Thank you guys for being so welcoming; I already feel like family."

Burt smiled. "Rachel, you are family."

Dinner continued quietly, everyone munching on the delicious food Carole had prepared.

* * *

She was combing her wet hair out when Finn walked n. She looked hot, no, _beautiful. _Her olive skin was glowing, and she was wearing leopard print shorts and a black tanktop. But he noticed something else: she'd been crying.

"Are you okay, Rachel?" he asked. Rachel turned around and said, "Can I be honest with you, Finn?"

He nodded slowly, and then she burst out into tears.

"No."

By instinct, he immediately took her in his arms. "Shh, don't talk. Just calm down. I don't know what's going on, but it's all going to be alright. I promise."

Finn noticed that Rachel had goosebumps all over her body. "You look like you're freezing. Hold on." He ran next door and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a huge McKinley football t-shirt. He handed them to her. "Wear these, Rachel. Keep warm. Good night, and if you need anything, I'm right next door."

Rachel looked down, but Finn put a finger under her chin. "Keep your head up- you're too beautiful for people to not see your face."

That night, when the clock stroke midnight, Rachel Berry climbed into Finn Hudson's bed.

And that was the first time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Please keep reviewing, following, and favoriting! I'm so amazed at how many people have seen the story! This chapter covers some very sensitive area, so if you begin to feel uncomfortable at anytime, please stop reading. Drugs are also personally a very sensitive topic for me, especially with Cory. I still cry all the time. This is an incredibly difficult chapter for me to have written, but I felt that in my heart it was the direction I needed this story to take. Rachel is having a difficult time, and realistically, life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. So please, read with caution. If you or anyone you know is suffering from addiction, seek help. Contact your national or state Substance Abuse and Alcoholism Help Center. Thank you.**

* * *

It'd been a week since he'd stood in Rachel's room, holding her tiny body, watching her cry. Seeing her do that made him want to burst into tears. That night, he sat in his room and did just that. He could feel that something was not right. _Finn, _he thought to himself, _don't screw this up like what happened with Quinn. She's something special; don't be an ass. _Finn and Rachel got closer to each other everyday, yet they were still somewhat uneducated about the other. He couldn't wait to get to know her more and more, but she probably kind of thought he was some Lima loser. Rachel was perfect, Rachel...was love.

That's why he was so surprised that night.

Finn was just laying in bed as usual, when he heard that familiar creak of the bottom stair. He heard a voice whisper. "Shit!" it said. He climbed out of bed and peeked out of the crack in the door. It was Rachel. He passed it off as her going down to get some water, but he felt uneasy. Finn laid back down in the bed, hearing the door to the upstairs bathroom close. He got up and left his room, pressing an ear against the bathroom.

It was the sobs, the shaking of the pill bottle. It was the chilling voicemail he could hear Rachel sending to her dads.

"I love you guys so much, and I'm sorry. But I think you guys would have an easier time without me. Don't remember me this way, remember the fun, happy Rachel. The one who didn't fuck up everything and lose it. Goodbye, I'm going to miss you."

That was it. He had to get in there. He tried the doorknob, but it was locked. Rachel's tiny voice could be heard, muffled by her cries. "Who's...who's there?"

"Rachel, please open up, it's me, Finn. Don't do this."

"Give me one good reason."

"I...I-I care about you Rachel, we all do. Me, my Mom, Burt, Kurt, your dads. We don't want to lose you."

No reponse. Just a quiet _thump. _

"Rachel?" Finn called, tears streaming down his face.

He kicked the lock of the door and pushed it open. On the edge of the sink was his mom's bottle of OxyContin for her back problems, another drug he didn't recognize, and a pill cutter with blood on it. Rachel lay on the floor, her hand cut. He rushed to her, sweeping the spilled pills aside.

"MOM, BURT! COME QUICK!" Finn yelled, hand on Rachel's cheek.

"Finn, what's going-" Carole gasped, seeing the girl laying on the floor. "That was the noise, it woke me up...is t-that my medicine?" she asked, beginning to cry. "Burt, Kurt," she screamed, "call 911! Now!"

* * *

Rachel was stabilized in 3 hours. Carole had called Rachel's dads and explained everything. They'd burst into tears on the phone, revealing that they'd received her goodbye message just moment ago.

"Tell Rachel that we love her Carole, and that we desperately wish that this trial wasn't preventing us from flying out there. Take care of her, please."

The doctor came out of her room at 2 am. "Family of Rachel Berry?" he called as all four of the Hudson-Hummels stood up. "It seems Rachel tried to overdose, and after taking the drugs she cut her finger on something...the sight of blood must've made her pass out."

"Is she going to be okay?" Carole asked.

"We pumped the drugs out of her system, we're now giving her fluids to ensure that all of the drugs are gone. Rachel took OxyContin and Xanax, which can be deadly if combined. You are very lucky that she's okay." Dr. Johnston went on. "Also, she is asking for a 'Finn'."

Finn walked towards the doctor. "That's me, can I see her?" he asked.

"Yes, but be warned that she just woke up and is very irritable."

Finn turned the metal door handle, shivering at the touch. He walked in to see a crying Rachel. Even in her condition she still managed to look beautiful.

"Why did you do that?" Rachel asked him, face puffy.

"Because..." he started, "I think I'm falling in love with you Rachel."

* * *

**This was kind of filler chapter, yet so eventful. I'm sorry if I did a bad job writing it, but I tried to handle the subject respectfully and seriously. Thank you for sticking with my story. xoxo**


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